By Timothy S. Mayer, Co-Founder & Principal, PrimeauMayer Financial
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” — Lamentations 3:22-23
After your spouse dies, the paperwork and the advice may bombard you all at once. It can feel like every money decision needs an answer this week even though most of them can wait. In my work as a financial advisor for widows, ‘most of this can wait’ is the first thing I say, and it guides how we at PrimeauMayer Financial approach wealth management for surviving families.
That’s why I chose this passage from Lamentations. Those verses were written in grief, and it still finds mercy that’s new every morning. The first year can be taken the same way, one morning at a time.
Last year I wrote a short post on the first steps after losing a spouse, and I closed it by suggesting the longer-term plan could wait until the first year had passed. This article is about that year.
What Needs Your Attention in the First Few Weeks
Only a few financial items carry real deadlines early on, and most of them are about keeping money flowing to you.
- Insurance claims: Life insurance generally pays only after you file a claim, usually with a certified death certificate.
- Cash for the next two months: List the bills coming due and check which accounts you can access on your own. If a paycheck or pension stopped, address that gap first.
- Estate paperwork: If your spouse left a will, it usually has to be filed with the local court, and your estate attorney can tell you which steps are due now.
What Can Wait in the First Months, and Why
Most large, hard-to-reverse decisions can wait until you’ve had time to grieve and see your finances clearly.
- Selling the house: A first-year move means making one of your biggest financial decisions while you’re least rested for it. The house will still be there next spring.
- Broad investment changes: There’s rarely a reason to sell everything and start over. A spouse who inherits an IRA generally has more than one way to handle it, and the choice affects when withdrawals must begin.
- Large gifts to your children: Gifts are hard to take back, so it helps to know what your own income looks like before you help your kids.
Family and friends usually have good intentions, and salespeople may appear after a life insurance claim pays out, often pressing you to decide quickly. A simple rule for the first year: if someone needs an answer this week and can’t explain why, wait. That applies to every advisor, our firm included.
The First-Year Items That Do Have Timing
A handful of items come with specific deadlines, so it helps to review and schedule them with your CPA early.
- Your tax return for the year your spouse died: If you’re eligible and haven’t remarried by year-end, you can generally still file a joint return for that year. IRS Publication 559 covers the rules for survivors.
- Any remaining required IRA withdrawal: If your spouse was already taking the yearly IRA withdrawals the IRS requires after a certain age and hadn’t finished this year’s, the rest generally has to come out, and your CPA can confirm the deadline. If they died before those withdrawals were required to begin, one may not be due.
- Social Security survivor benefits: Before you apply, review your claiming options with the Social Security Administration, since eligibility and amounts depend on your circumstances.
- Workplace benefits: Stock options and deferred compensation plans (pay he chose to receive later) often set their own deadlines after a death, so ask your spouse’s employer for the plan documents early. If he owned a business, ask your attorney about any buy-sell agreement, the contract that says who buys his share.
- Beneficiaries and titles: Your retirement accounts, life insurance, will, and powers of attorney may still name him. Jointly owned property, including the house, may need to be put in your name alone.
- Health coverage: If you were on his employer’s plan, COBRA, the federal rule for continuing workplace coverage after a death, may let you keep it for a time. You generally have 60 days from the date of the notice to elect it, so don’t set that letter aside.
Building Your Plan Around the One-Year Mark
Around the one-year mark, many widows feel ready for the longer-term plan my earlier post promised. It usually begins with income, since a household that ran on two paychecks or two Social Security checks now generally runs on one while many expenses stay the same.
Your taxes usually shift the year after your spouse’s death. Many widows file as single from then on unless they qualify for a surviving spouse status that generally requires a dependent child at home, and single filers face narrower tax brackets, which often means a higher tax bill on the same income, and a smaller standard deduction.
A year in, you’ll also have a clearer sense of whether the house still fits the life you’re living, and you can weigh that choice with real numbers from your CPA.
Working With a Financial Advisor for Widows at Your Pace
We approach financial planning for surviving spouses at the pace you set, starting with getting organized and steadying your cash flow, then moving to the bigger planning when you’re ready. We coordinate each step with your CPA and estate attorney, so you aren’t relaying messages between offices. You can read more about how we serve widows and surviving families.
Reach Out When You’re Ready
If you or someone you love is in the first year after losing a spouse, I’m here to talk.
The first conversation is complimentary, with no pressure to decide anything. Contact our office whenever you’re ready, and we’ll take it one step at a time.
For educational purposes only. Tax, legal, and benefit rules are complex and may change. Consult your tax, legal, and benefits professionals before acting.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should I wait to make financial decisions after my husband dies?
You can usually wait up to a year on the biggest, hardest-to-reverse decisions, such as selling a home or overhauling investments. A few items can’t wait, including insurance claims and the tax return for the year of death. Our planning process starts with those essentials and leaves the larger choices until you’re ready.
Should I sell my house after my spouse dies?
Usually not in the first year, since a move made in grief is hard to undo. If you do sell, a surviving spouse can generally exclude up to $500,000 of home-sale gain from federal tax if the sale closes within two years of the death and other IRS rules are met. These downsizing questions can help you weigh it.
When can a widow start collecting Social Security survivor benefits?
Generally as early as age 60, or age 50 with a qualifying disability, and at any age if you’re caring for his child under 16. Some widows take one benefit first and switch to their own retirement benefit later. Because amounts depend on your circumstances, make the decision with your CPA and other advisors at the table.
Do I need my own financial advisor if my husband handled all our money?
In most cases, yes. Whether you keep your husband’s advisor or choose someone new, your plan should now fit your own income and timeline. At PrimeauMayer Financial, we usually start by gathering every account into one list and explaining each in plain language. Here are questions to ask when choosing a Catholic financial planner.
About Timothy S. Mayer, CLU, FSCP
Co-Founder | Principal
Timothy S. Mayer, CLU®, FSCP®, is Co-Founder and Principal of PrimeauMayer Financial in Manassas, Virginia. He has been a wealth advisor since 2010, working with families, professionals, business owners, retirees, and surviving spouses across Northern Virginia and virtually nationwide. He is a member of the Catholic Financial Planners Network and the Northern Virginia Estate Planning Council, and is featured on WealthTender™ as a Catholic Financial Advisor. He and his wife are raising five children in Prince William County.
Check the background of your financial professional on FINRA’s BrokerCheck. No client or potential client should assume that any information presented or made available on or through this website should be construed as personalized financial planning or investment advice.Investment advisory services offered through PrimeauMayer Advisors LLC, registered with the Commonwealth of Virginia. For a complete description of investment risks, fees and services, review the PrimeauMayer Advisors LLC firm brochure (ADV Part 2A) which is available from your Investment Advisor Representative or by contacting PrimeauMayer Advisors LLC.
